How we Make Our Marriage Work

I have navigated through 3 1/2 years of marriage with 2 young little children. We have lived in a small little cabin with no running water for the 1st year of marriage while building our home.I have learned a couple things that I wished that someone told me before getting on ways to make my marriage go as smooth as possible. Add a heading (8)

When I first got married, I called my dad almost every day. After a while though I needed to stop doing that because I wasn’t adjusting to married life like I needed to. I find that limiting communication with your parents especially if you were living with them before getting married helps you adjust a little bit better.

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Everybody will give you advice(like I am doing now) but you don’t need to take it to heart especially if it doesn’t fit your lifestyle. Don’t feel bad that you aren’t taking their advice either.

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Fighting is normally the worse part of the relationship, and I find what makes it the worst is the yelling. When we yell at each other we aren’t listening to one another, it seems more of way of hurting the other person. Its alright to disagree and to talk about it which gets you much farther.

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I vowed to myself that I wouldn’t start fights over the small things, things that were not worth yelling about. I found that it would waste time that could be used for other things. I do get a little bit upset but I keep it to myself for awhile and think about it to make sure that it was worth getting upset about. I do mention some of the issues to my husband to get it off my chest. He normally know that something is bothering me so it is no surprise to him. Add a heading (11)

I am a person who needs space from people especially after a long and hard day, so my husband allows me some space(I go hide in our room while he takes care of our boys).

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Now this is more like if you have children but also goes along the lines of being married. When I was engaged my father said that now I don’t have to worry about looking good since I got the man. Even though you are married and maybe have children that you don’t have to let yourself go to the ways side, like taking care of your health.

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My husband works long hours in the woods or in the shop, when he gets home he is ready to rest and play with the boys. To me since he is working for the income so I can stay home to take care of the boys and home, that it isn’t far for him to come home to cook or clean. I found that if I don’t let my husband do the chores or cooking that its on me and him since I am not nagging my husband to do something.

 

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I remember my relationship before getting married to my husband, it was void of Elohim. The relationship turned toxic and so I made sure that their was some form of a christian relationship with my husband. It guides our attitudes, decisions and actions to make this relationship work the best that it can.

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If you haven’t noticed already we have more of an old fashion marriage. My husband being the head of the house helps with eliminating of the power struggle, to me its less fighting.

If their was something that you thought helped your relationship work comment below, I would love to hear what it is.

Benefits Of Being Married Young

I got married at 20 years old and I know that isn’t the youngest to be married but I believe that out of our graduations class there was only a couple of us that got married pretty early.I was living at a boarding school the last two years of high school and after that I moved back home while going to college. During that time, it was tough trying to navigate the world and even after getting married I was still figuring things out.Lindahl (18)

If you are thinking that you would want to get married in you early 20’s but are not sure if it is worth it, I written out a couple things that I have benefited from being married.

Figure things out!

Since I lived at a boarding school and then living at home before getting married, I felt that I wasn’t able to figure myself out as much as I needed to. It seem that for me I couldn’t branch out and figure out what I liked in life. When I got married to my husband, I was able to feel more expressive of what I liked and didn’t like. I felt more comfortable to be more open about what I thought on things and just being myself.

Adulting

I might had some responsibilities; making sure I got to school and work on time, had enough money for gas and have my homework done. I didn’t pay for my phone or insurance, and I didn’t have enough on my plate that made it feel like I was adult. When you live at home even though you are an adult, there is a different atmosphere living with your parents that don’t make you feel like you adults. I just felt like an Adult Child.

It automatically felt that I was an adult, that I was able to make more decisions as one and didn’t feel like I needed to prove that I was one.

Much Needed Support

With my anxiety my family didn’t understand, my husband on the other hand was able to help me by either listening to me or giving me much needed hugs. He let me talk as much as I need to so I am not always holding things in and erupt on anyone.

As a married couple we are always with each other and able to understand one another. When one of us needs much support and listening ear we can.

Decision Making

My husband and I are able to make decisions that are needed to be made for our family. I find that because I am not on my own I am not the only person that bares the burdens when it comes to big decisions. My husband as the head of the house bares the major burden of making the final say, but before we get to final say we both put in our input so we work as a team.

Not Settled

On my own, I probably would have found out what I like and don’t like but I also believe that I would have been settled in my own ways.  We were able to adapt and adjust to each other and figure it out together on how we liked to do things. I feel that since we weren’t settled in our own ways that fights and disagreements are rare.

Its easier to do…

I found that when we got married, we were able to do things a lot easier. Since we were living together, no body had to travel to far to see one another. Commute was long for me and to meet up and go on a date always made it a very long night, now that we don’t have that, date nights are nicer to go on.

When you have a conversation over the phone or text it seems that something gets lost in translation, so being in person and with that person all the time communication is easier.

No More Searching

Being married means that I am no longer searching for someone since I have my Mr. Right! No disappointing dates or wasted time.

Children

We had children right away in our marriage. The fact that I am younger, I was able to bounce back pretty fast and also do adapt a little bit easier to motherhood. I also didn’t have a career which I would have if I waited on having children I feel would have made somethings harder for me.

These are a lot of benefits, each person will find different things out of marriage to have both the benefits and negatives. I try to remember benefit(positives) of being married and enjoy that. If you are married what was one benefit of being married?

Young Country Mama

 

 

Mr. Right

I never understood that one question that people ask when it comes during the time that you are dating someone for awhile. Is he the one? My husband and I had that discussion a couple times especially when it came to teaching this subject to my students for Church Youth Class.

Lindahl (12)

 

My husband Joel and I agreed that The One doesn’t actually exist, that there is more than one person out there that you could be compatible with. The ones that cross your path there could Mr. Right. So how did I know that Joel was the one? I have come up with Seven things (kinda like a Miley Cyrus Song) that I knew that Joel was the right man for me.

Didn’t think twice

When he asked me to marry him, I didn’t even think twice about saying yes. I also didn’t question our relationship while we were dating or engaged.

Didn’t want to change each other

I didn’t want to change him and he didn’t want to change me. We accepted every part of one another. We also didn’t expect anything out of each other that was unreasonable.

Same Goals 

We both wanted a person of the same faith, to date for goal of marriage, and we both wanted children. I don’t remember a lot of things that we were looking for but those were a major ones.

Comfortable

I am a very talkative person, and I can talk to anyone but when it comes to my feeling I could not tell anyone. I couldn’t believe how comfortable I could talk to Joel and that he listened. I was comfortable enough to do a lot of things and not feel embarrassed.

Prayer

There was a situation that both got Joel and I upset and frustrated. We were confused at what to do, but Joel said why don’t we pray about it. I knew that Elohim was going to be part of this relationship.

Past is the Past

I have a messy past and my husband excepted it. He never brings it up and doesn’t make me feel bad about it.

Stood By Me

When I was dealing with Anxiety, he stood by me and even though he didn’t know exactly what to do. He still listened and held me which helped me calm down.

Seven things that stood out to me when I was dating to my husband and while I was engaged to him that made me know he was Mr. Right.

Young Country Mama