I have navigated through 3 1/2 years of marriage with 2 young little children. We have lived in a small little cabin with no running water for the 1st year of marriage while building our home.I have learned a couple things that I wished that someone told me before getting on ways to make my marriage go as smooth as possible.
When I first got married, I called my dad almost every day. After a while though I needed to stop doing that because I wasn’t adjusting to married life like I needed to. I find that limiting communication with your parents especially if you were living with them before getting married helps you adjust a little bit better.
Everybody will give you advice(like I am doing now) but you don’t need to take it to heart especially if it doesn’t fit your lifestyle. Don’t feel bad that you aren’t taking their advice either.
Fighting is normally the worse part of the relationship, and I find what makes it the worst is the yelling. When we yell at each other we aren’t listening to one another, it seems more of way of hurting the other person. Its alright to disagree and to talk about it which gets you much farther.
I vowed to myself that I wouldn’t start fights over the small things, things that were not worth yelling about. I found that it would waste time that could be used for other things. I do get a little bit upset but I keep it to myself for awhile and think about it to make sure that it was worth getting upset about. I do mention some of the issues to my husband to get it off my chest. He normally know that something is bothering me so it is no surprise to him.
I am a person who needs space from people especially after a long and hard day, so my husband allows me some space(I go hide in our room while he takes care of our boys).
Now this is more like if you have children but also goes along the lines of being married. When I was engaged my father said that now I don’t have to worry about looking good since I got the man. Even though you are married and maybe have children that you don’t have to let yourself go to the ways side, like taking care of your health.
My husband works long hours in the woods or in the shop, when he gets home he is ready to rest and play with the boys. To me since he is working for the income so I can stay home to take care of the boys and home, that it isn’t far for him to come home to cook or clean. I found that if I don’t let my husband do the chores or cooking that its on me and him since I am not nagging my husband to do something.
I remember my relationship before getting married to my husband, it was void of Elohim. The relationship turned toxic and so I made sure that their was some form of a christian relationship with my husband. It guides our attitudes, decisions and actions to make this relationship work the best that it can.
If you haven’t noticed already we have more of an old fashion marriage. My husband being the head of the house helps with eliminating of the power struggle, to me its less fighting.
If their was something that you thought helped your relationship work comment below, I would love to hear what it is.